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Movie Review: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 – I’ve Honestly Never Been in a Theater So Silent.

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mall cop 2 - 29APR2014

This movie confused me a bit. I thought it was supposed to be a comedy but it felt more like a commercial for the Wynn Resort in Vegas. I counted, and there were approximately 7000 helicopter shots of the outside of the resort in the movie. Those shots far outnumber the laughs.

Of those, I counted four.

In this completely unnecessary sequel, Paul Blart’s life is again in shambles. Remember all the happy stuff that happened to him after the first movie? Yeah, that lasted like a week. Blart’s wife left him 6 days after the wedding, while his beloved mommy dearest was run over by a milk truck. All this is told in voice over narration, as I imagine even covering this movie in 0 calorie chocolate couldn’t make Jayma Mays and Shirley Knight reprise their roles. So Blart takes off to Vegas with his delightful daughter in tow. Of course, the Wynn hotel where they will be staying just happens to be hosting bad guy Vincent (Neal McDonough) who is planning on stealing a casino’s art treasures. Then wackiness ensues.

Really, really unfunny wackiness. Remember all the stuff that made you laugh during the first movie? Blart jumping around, doing really slow rolls and trying to look like a badass? Remember how funny that was?

Hold on to that feeling if you can, because by the end of this movie, you won’t find it funny at all anymore. All attempts at humor are made through over the top actors and over the top antics. Everything that was clever in the first movie has grown tired and tedious by the second.

I’ve honestly never been in a theater so silent. I don’t think I even heard a chuckle. I’m starting to understand why Sony elected to sneak this one out and not offer advance critic reviews. It was just plain bad.

Paul blart Mall cop 2 moive still 4 - 28APR2015

mall cop 2 movie still - 28APR2015

Speaking of Sony, they managed to cram their name on just about every piece of electronics in the movie. Watches, cameras, cell phones. If there had been a pregnancy test, it would have said “Sony” on it.

Kevin James continued to play the lovable buffoon character that made him famous, but really, that character isn’t quite so loveable anymore. His ‘all time loser’ act is getting pretty tired. It would be nice to see him win one for a change.

They should have never made a sequel. It was completely unnecessary. The whole mall cop premise was funny, but you take the mall cop out of the mall and he’s just another fat tourist in Vegas. Forgettable, a little ridiculous and not watchable.

This was a poor storyline trotted about by a company who just wanted to grab as much cash from this premise that they could. The problem was they already robbed us blind in the first one. This was not a story that needed to be told twice. It was finished off quite nicely the first time around.

I don’t know what’s sadder. This movie, or Kevin James desperately trying to hold onto the last few pieces of his fading career.

We Gave it: 1 Star: Official Movie Trailer and Movie Poster Below

1 star

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Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 Movie Poster

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‘Super Troopers 2’ Raises $4.4 Million During Indiegogo Campaign, Filming Starts This Summer!

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We knew a second Super Troopers would be happening less than 30 hours after the comedy troupe Broken Lizard launched their crowdfunding campaign on Indiegogo. Fans of the first movie hit the initial goal of $2 million in just 26 hours.

But that $2 million was the minimum amount needed to fund the movie. They really needed more money to make the sequel even better than the first film, so the campaign continued for 30 days. And thanks to the awesome perks being offered by the comedy team, the impressive total climbed to $4.4 million.

To make sure the total went over the $3.5 million mark, Broken Lizard announced they would release their first movie Tin Foil Monkey Agenda exclusively to the thousands of contributors.

Thanks to the amount of effort they put into this campaign, they were able to produce the second most successful crowdfunding campaign for a movie. It fell just a little short of the $5.7 million record held by the Veronica Mars movie.

Super Troopers 2 will go into pre-production next month, and filming will begin this summer in the Northeast. And if you were one of the over 50,000 people who contributed to the campaign, you will be receiving a lot of updates from the set.

It should be exciting to see how everything plays out. The first film grossed $23 million worldwide on a $1.2 million budget.

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Movie Review: Unfriended – They Pulled off the Laptop Filming Angle Perfectly, Let’s Hope There are No Copycats.

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IjmRX - 26APR2015

I think the gimmick that came from the Unfriended movie was inventive. After all, directors have been complaining for years that most of their work is lost when people insist on viewing their films on laptops. So now comes a movie that was filmed entirely on a laptop. Honestly, I expected to hate it. I expected to hate it in the same way that I hate found footage, and I do hate found footage. I hate it with a passion.

Then I remembered at one time, I enjoyed found footage. It was one of the first found footage movies, Cloverleaf, that sucked me in. But a bit like a hit new song that the radio plays to death, the gimmick has been done to death, to the point where it is just not enjoyable anymore.

So while I enjoyed Unfriended, let’s call it cautious enjoyment, because deep down, I know we are going to see 400 more movies filmed in this gimmicky way by year’s end.

The premise is an effective one for this particular gimmick. It’s a story of vengeance, played out through one computer screen. It starts with Blaire (Shelley Hennig) as she guiltily clicks on pages about Lara Barns, a classmate of hers who committed suicide just one year earlier. Then, her teen heartthrob boyfriend Mitch (Moses Strom) starts a flirty conversation with her on Skype, right before three more friends Jess (Renee Olstead) Adam (Will Peltz) and Ken (Jacob Wysocki) join in. But there’s a mysterious 6th person online, and over the next hour, slowly reveals herself to be the dead Lara, who killed herself after the group posted an embarrassing YouTube clip.

cdn.indiewire2 - 26APR2015

cdn.indiewire - 26APR2015

On paper, it doesn’t sound good, but excellent timing and strange coincidences have never been so chilling. I’ve never been so disturbed to see the unfriend option missing from a Facebook drop down menu, or a lack of forwarding options on Gmail. The slow realization that this isn’t a glitch, it’s a girl out for revenge, creates a great amount of tension.

The movie unfolds in real time, which really seems like it would work only for a short, but the writing and the execution makes the time fly by. It’s the same kind of formula that made the first Paranormal Activity work. The slow, weird events, building up to the final dramatic conclusion.

One thing to note, however, is that there is no room left for a sequel, so please Hollywood, do not turn this into the new gravy train. I will admit, this one worked the first time, but it is not a sustainable movie model. A well written story and web cam reaction shots that were better than even the most hilarious “Two Girls One Cup” reaction videos made this movie. It was very well done, and the whole one computer screen gimmick is what made it.

But it does not mean it needs to be made again. It’s like one of those jump scare videos. It might get you the first time, but it won’t the second.

WE GIVE IT: 4.5 STARS!  (Which is great for a Horror Movie!)

Official Movie Trailer and Movie Poster Below.

four and a half stars

 

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Unfriended Movie Poster - 26APR2015

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Are You Ready For Another One? ‘Fast & Furious 8’ Gets Official Release Date!

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mr

Come on, you didn’t really think ‘Furious 7’ was the end, right? After breaking almost every box office record and scoring big with critics, there was no way the franchise was going to throw in the towel.

Vin Diesel surprised everyone at CinemaCon yesterday with a huge announcement. He revealed that they are planning to bring the next Fast & Furious movie into theaters April 14, 2017.

And honestly, that date is a little surprising. We knew an eighth film would happen, but we don’t think anyone was expecting it to happen this soon.

The official title for the film hasn’t been released, but we have been hearing some rumors about what might be happening in this latest installment. We know a good portion of the movie will take place in New York.

We are also hearing that Eva Mendes will return as Agent Fuentes, which makes sense because the government will play an even bigger role in this next film. Kurt Russell’s brilliant “Mr. Nobody” character will also be returning.

That’s all we know at the moment, but more information will be coming out soon. It will be interesting to see how successful this next movie is.

Will people still be interested in it after the perfect ending we saw in Furious 7?

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10 Celebrities You Probably Forgot Were In Disney Channel Original Movies!

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A few months ago we celebrated the strangest Disney Channel Original Movies, and now we are going to dig a little deeper into the TV world of Disney.

Today, we are going to focus on the talent inside those wonderful movies. You might think that Disney loaded those made-for-TV movies up with actors they found outside a gas station.

But you would be wrong…

 

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No. 10 – Kaley Cuoco – “Alley Cats Strike!”

Release Date: 2000

Character: Elisa Bowers

Where You Can Find Her Now: Well, she’s on this little show called The Big Bang Theory. You’ve probably never heard of it. She also starred in The Wedding Ringer with some dude named Kevin Hart. Maybe one day she will finally make it big 😉

 

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No. 9 – Kat Dennings – “The Scream Team”

Release Date: 2002

Character: Claire Carlyle

Where You Can Find Her Now: Just like Kaley Cuoco, Kat Dennings has found a home on CBS. She stars in 2 Broke Girls with Beth Behrs. She was also in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, which was a great film with the never awkward Michael Cera.

 

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No. 8 – Camilla Belle – “Rip Girls”

Release Date: 2000

Character: Sydney Miller

Where You Can Find Her Now: Camilla may not be as popular as the two ladies above her, but she’s still living the dream as an actress out in Hollywood. She has starred in a number of films since her Disney Channel days. Most recently she was in a movie titled The American Side with Matthew Broderick.

 

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No. 7 – Justin Timberlake – “Model Behavior”

Release Date: 2000

Character: Jason

Where You Can Find Him Now: We have no idea. What happened to Justin Timberlake? I think I saw him on SNL a few times, but that’s about it. Poor guy would probably jump at the chance to star in another Disney Channel movie.

 

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No. 6 – Katey Sagal – “Smart House”

Release Date: 1999

Character: Pat (or The House)

Where You Can Find Her Now: She is all over the damn place. She was on 8 Simple Rules (with Kaley Cuoco), Lost, Sons of Anarchy, and you can catch her in Pitch Perfect 2, May 15, 2015. Basically, just turn on your television or watch a movie and you’ll either see her face or hear her voice.

 

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No. 5 – Emmy Rossum – “Genius”

Release Date: 1999

Character: Claire Addison

Where You Can Find Her Now: Her career really developed in 2004. She starred in The Phantom of the Opera and The Day After Tomorrow. After that, Rossum started showing up on everyone’s radar. Most people know her right now as Fiona Gallagher on the TV series Shameless.

 

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No. 4 – Bryan Cranston – “‘Twas the Night”

Release Date: 2001

Character: Nick Wrigley

Where You Can Find Him Now: Just look for the dude still rocking the tighty-whities. That is where you’ll find Bryan. On a serious note, if you haven’t watched Breaking Bad, please go change that right now. Well, finish this list first, share it with your friends, and then go watch it.

 

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No. 3 – Mischa Barton – “A Ring of Endless Light”

Release Date: 2002

Character: Vicky Austin

Where You Can Find Her Now: Mischa is probably best known for her role as Marissa Cooper on The O.C., but her career is still going strong years after the show. Her name is attached to over six film projects this year! She is clearly keeping busy. I have a feeling she will be making a comeback.

 

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No. 2 – Hayden Panettiere – “Tiger Cruise”

Release Date: 2004

Character: Maddie Dolan

Where You Can Find Her Now: The little girl from Remember the Titans is still going strong in Hollywood. She starred in the NBC show Heroes several years ago and is currently starring in the hit ABC show Nashville.

 

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No. 1 – Kristen Stewart – “The Thirteenth Year”

Release Date: 1999

Character: Girl in Fountain Line

Where You Can Find Her Now: Kristen Stewart was only 8-years-old when she made her debut in a Disney Channel movie. She didn’t have any lines, but as you can see from the photo, she already had that famous look perfected. All frowny jokes aside, Stewart is actually an extremely talented actress. She recently starred in the award-winning film Still Alice with Julianne Moore. Go check it out if you haven’t watched it.

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Sony Confirms There Will Be A Sequel To Denzel Washington’s ‘The Equalizer’

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The bad news? Another studio is developing another sequel. The good news is that the film getting the sequel was pretty badass.

Denzel Washington’s thriller The Equalizer will be getting a sequel. Sony Pictures confirmed the news during their CinemaCon presentation. The film, which was directed by Antoine Fuqua, was produced with a $55 million budget, and it went on to gross over $190 million at the global box office.

As some of you may know, the plan was to make this a franchise. Heck, Sony started moving forward on the sequel idea before the first film even hit theaters. They knew the film was going to be successful after it scored the highest-rated test screening for any R-rated movie in the company’s history.

We’re not sure if Fuqua will be back as director, but we do know screenwriter Richard Wenk will be back to write the sequel script. And honestly, it’s probably safe to assume Fuqua will also return.

Why mess with a winning team? Plus, we know Fuqua was hoping this would become a franchise. He told ScreenRant the following…

“Ah, you know, I would be lying to you if I said I wouldn’t love for it to become a franchise, I would love for it to become a hit and all that great stuff. Who knows-you just make the best movie you can make, you know it’s like, eat the whole thing, one piece at a time. And then, we’ll see what happens, I would love for it to be.”

So, how do you feel about this news? Are you excited to see Denzel back in action?

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Your First Look At Johnny Depp In The New ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 5’ (PHOTO)

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Fans of Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean franchise still have two years to wait before the fifth installment hits theaters, but producer Jerry Bruckheimer decided it’s never too early to start teasing.

The Pirates producer went on his Twitter account to reveal the first image from the film, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

As you can see in the photo above, it looks like Captain Jack Sparrow is in trouble again. It looks like some enemy has detained him, which seems to be a common problem for the Captain.

The fourth film in the franchise (On Stranger Tides) was released back in 2011. And while the movie wasn’t exactly a hit with the critics, it certainly was with the loyal fans of the franchise. It made over $1 billion at the global box office, and that’s the reason why this fifth film is being made.

We are sure it will make a lot of money. As we mentioned above, the film won’t be released until 2017. The fourth film was released in 2011, which means there will be a six-year gap between the two movies. That’s the longest gap in the franchise.

Will the long wait get fans excited about the movie? Or will they find some other franchise to keep them warm at night? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales hits theaters July 7, 2017.

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Edgar Wright’s ‘Ant-Man’ Script Was The Best Marvel Ever Had, According To Joss Whedon

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ant

It’s clear Marvel fans are super excited about Ant-Man after seeing the insane trailer released last week, but Avengers: Age of Ultron director Joss Whedon believes it could have been even better.

As some of you may know, Shaun Of The Dead director Edgar Wright was originally signed on to helm the Ant-Man movie for Marvel Studios. He worked extremely hard on the project for a long time, and after getting pushed back for several years, Wright started to focus on other things.

Then in 2012 he finally got the green light. Ant-Man was going to happen; however, it wasn’t going to be with Wright. He walked away from the film in 2014 due to creative differences.

And according to Joss Whedon, we all should be disappointed that his original script was abandoned. Why? Because it was freakin’ marvelous.

He told Buzzfeed the following…

“I thought the script was not only the best script that Marvel had ever had, but the most Marvel script I’d read. I had no interest in Ant-Man. [Then] I read the script, and was like, ‘Of course! This is so good!’ It reminded me of the books, when I read them. Irreverent and funny and could make what was small large, and vice versa. I don’t know where things went wrong. But I was very sad.”

Geez. Now I am a little sad. Still excited to see this “updated” version of Ant-Man, but it does make you wonder what could have been.

And while Whedon made it clear how much he loved Wright’s script, he also wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t picking sides in this battle.

“Whatever dissonance that came, whatever it was, I don’t understand why it was bigger than a marriage that seemed so right. But I’m not going to say it was definitely all Marvel, or Edgar’s gone mad! I felt like they would complement each other by the ways that they were different. And, uh, somethin’ happened.”

 

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Watch The Full Trailer For ‘Dope’ — The Movie No One Is Talking About

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dope

Jurassic World, Star Wars, Batman v Superman, Ant-Man — how in the world can you compete with all those trailers?

The answer is you can’t. It’s impossible. Sadly, we live in this monster/superhero world now, and there isn’t a lot of room for stories about normal people.

Which is why you probably haven’t seen the new trailer for Rick Famuyiwa’s, Dope. The 2015 coming of age dramedy for the post hip hop generation. You won’t find any aliens trying to destroy Earth in this film, the vehicles don’t talk or fly through buildings, and Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t stop by to say, “I’ll be back!”

And I know what you’re thinking, “What? Why would I want to watch this movie then?” Well, I think I just told you why.

Written and directed by Rick Famuyiwa (Talk to Me, Brown Sugar) Dope promises to bring back some classic pieces of 90s hip-hop culture. The film tells the story of an incredibly smart teenager named Malcolm, who has dreams of attending Harvard. But along the way, he must determine who he truly is while dealing with drug dealers, weird classmates, and some pretty awkward situations.

The film stars Shameik Moore, Zoe Kravitz, Kiersey Clemons, and Blake Anderson. Forest Whitaker and Pharrell Williams jumped on as producers. We’re also told that Pharrell wrote some music for the film, and the early reviews claim the songs are, uh, well…dope?

Check out the trailer below, and go support this movie in a theater near you June 19!

 

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Movie Review: The Longest Ride – A Mass Produced Pile of Drippy Sugar, wrapped in a Pretty Pink Bow

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The-Longest-Ride-7-Britt-Robertson-and-Scott-Eastwood - 20APR2015

Oh, great, another Nicholas Sparks movie. Please read that sentence with the exact inflection that I wrote it with, and you’ll see my overwhelming enthusiasm for this script. Rather than having to actually summarize this movie, I’m just going to go head and summarize every single Nicholas Sparks movie ever made.

A fun and interesting boy from the wrong side of the tracks meets an uptight priss with a stick in her rear. Turns out, uptight priss has a good reason for said stick. Insert one of the following clichés; overbearing mother, caricature of an abusive ex, or tragic past. Make sure no one wants them to be together, because the characters always live in a world where no one in the universe can mind their own business. Bring it all home by tossing in some old people for a bit of 20/20 hindsight about the enduring power of love.

And you have a Nicholas Sparks movie. That formula (and late 30s spinsters) is the whole reason Nicholas Sparks has a career. If movies were food, Nicholas Spark movies would be heads of iceberg lettuce. They’re not particularly memorable, but they sell in bulk because boring people like them. This movie is no exception. It’s simply a bunch of rehashed plotlines pulled out of the Sparks-O-Matic 3000.

The clichés are Southern and thorough. Their first date is a picnic barbeque where Sophia, our idiot main character swoons, “no one has ever done this for me before,” when her rodeo hunk brings her some take-out barbeque.

Really, lady? Really? No one has ever brought you take out? It might be time to raise your standards.

The longest Ride - 20APR2015

The longest Ride ii

The dialog is trite and idiotic. A few sample lines include “time is precious’ and “love requires sacrifice”. The lines they spewed made me face palm myself into a near concussion.

There’s plenty of north meets south, from Manhattan galleries, to southern rodeos. They toss in some line dancing (which no one has done since 1998) and some ballroom dancing (which no one has done since 1898) for good measure. On its own, with a City Slickers vibe, this might have been a cute story.

I didn’t particularly care about the characters and I didn’t find that they had much chemistry. Britt Robertson as Sophia was utterly forgettable and Scott Eastwood felt like he was in the wrong movie. I felt like he genuinely did get lost on the way to the rodeo. It might have been wise if Scott had followed the path of daddy dearest and went strict western because this effort was just embarrassing.

Alan Alda charmed, of course, but Alan Alda always charms. You could cast the guy as Hitler and people in the audience would start thinking “well, maybe Hitler was just misunderstood.” This was a case of one good actor rising above the script, while the rest rested on bad dialog and Nicholas Sparks’ name.

This was a financially brilliant mess. A mass produced pile of drippy sugar, wrapped in a bunch of pretty pink bows, and delivered to the doors of cat ladies everywhere. It will probably make millions.

WE GAVE IT: 2 Stars – Watch the Official Trailer and Official Movie Poster below!

2 Stars

 

 

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