Category: 2.5 Star Reviews

2 Comments

Movie Review: The 5th Wave – America Is All ‘Teen Girl Hero-ed’ Out

  By , ,

hero_The-5th-Wave-2016 - 30JAN2016

“When you’re in high school, every day feels like the end of the world,” says Cassie Sullivan, the heroine of “The 5th Wave.” And when your Essa, being forced to sit through the 5th Wave, ever moment feels like an infinity. Let’s get started on this latest YA hit to be made into a movie.

So the 5th Wave focuses on a plucky, determined heroine, who isn’t Katniss Everdeen, but is damn near indistinguishable from Katniss Everdeen…with the exception of being blond. Her species has been decimated by aliens, sending humanity back to the stone age and Cassie Sullivan on the run. She fights through power outages, disease and earthquakes as she struggles to survive.

Know what I always wonder during apocalypse movies? Why? Like, why bother trying to survive? What the hell is the point? So you can spend the next twenty years wandering a barren landscape, in the dark, with no indoor plumbing, before you’re inevitably killed by zombies, aliens or some kind of super-flu? You know my plans for the apocalypse? Suicide. Quick, easy and relatively painless.

1401x788-5thWave_2016_23 - 30JAN2016

But I digress. I was supposed to be talking about this movie. Which I have to admit, is well made. It certainly has a standout star in Chloe Grace Moretz. She’s a compelling intriguing character that’s a bit less prissy than Katniss anyway, so I like that.

The effects are well done, the visuals stunning and it’s a tense, gripping action flick. The direction of J Blakeson shouldn’t be underestimated and I imagine with a better plot, this movie would have been amazing.

But unfortunately, the predetermined, to be expected formula just doesn’t feel new or fresh anymore. When Hunger Games came out, a plucky teenage heroine in an action movie was a treat. Now, it’s a bit tired and a bit overdone. You can see everything coming. Literally every single plot point, from the inevitable love triangle, to the girl coming into her own strength and power, is completely recycled to the point where it’s almost fatiguing.

5th-wave-image09 - 30JAN2016

Also, as a side note there is a tsunami part of the movie that really should have been relocated. Honestly, 5000 people died in Thailand during the 2004 Tsunami. Using that for movie fodder just feels gross.

That, coupled with the poor plot, really didn’t help this movie stand out from anything else offered out there. It’s not lighting up the box office either, having made just $10 million on its opening weekend. While some of that might be due to the winter storm that crippled the East, it has to be said that it just wasn’t that great. It certainly wasn’t terrible and if it had been released ten years ago, it may have been a blockbuster.

But it comes on the heels of the end of a trend. America is all ‘teen girl hero-ed’ out by now and there’s no way to cram another one down, not with the same ridiculous results that The Hunger Games, or even Insurgent, got. As a result, I can’t give this a worth the watch.
WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”DMKg8-9pLlY” width=”680″ height=”383″]

fifthwavesmall - 30JAN2016

 

11 Comments

Movie Review: By the Sea (2015) – It Might Have Made a Better Photo Than a Movie.

  By , ,

by-the-sea2 21NOV2015

By the Sea is a retro-style film that seems to be mirrored after arthouse films, in some kind of boring parody. Even the presence of Hollywood’s most beautiful couple can’t make it interesting.

Anyway, this is a story of an uber-rich couple that needs to get away from a mysterious family tragedy (though honestly, I pegged it in the first ten minutes) and decides to go on a beach vacation to the South of France. There, they meet a younger, happier couple and you wait for the swinger’s party to start.

This is like an overdone porno that’s all lead and no payoff. I’ll say that Jolie and Pitt play a good rich married couple…because duh. I just wasn’t that invested in them and didn’t particularly care about them. You spend half the movie waiting for them to talk, and then when they do, you just want them to shut up.

by-the-sea 21NOV2015

I will say it’s a beautiful movie. That seems to be Jolie’s go to. Lots of beauty without much interest behind it. There’s gorgeous panning shots, pretty poses and elegant despair. It’s all incredibly beautiful. There’s a ton of nudity and sexual tension. I think it might have been a better photo than a movie. As a movie, it just doesn’t work for me. It’s an incredibly boring effort.

I think someone needs to tell Jolie that pretty isn’t everything. You need a story. There’s not one here. The tension doesn’t build and the dialog is awful. Heck, the reason the couple is so rich is because Pitt’s supposed to be this world famous writer.

But he talks like a world weary tax accountant. The dialog just doesn’t carry the movie. As a result, it feels like nothing more than a 90 minute photo session of Jolie, while she’s suffering from a serious case of depression.

Literally, like 80 minutes of the run time is watching Jolie move from one chaise lounge to another, draping her arm over her forehead and wondering about the emptiness of it all.

224 - 21NOV2015

Also, it’s a bit weird that these two are married. How can a married couple have this little on-screen chemistry? I mean, it wasn’t just bad in this particular film. It was bad all the way back in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I really think they should stop making movies together. There’s just something about having the two of them together in a movie that doesn’t work. It doesn’t make sense. They’re both beautiful, reasonably adept actors. It’s just something about the chemical reaction of them together that doesn’t carry over to film.

This movie is fun to look at, but not much fun to watch. The best I can suggest is to play it in the background when you want something to look at. The story is tedious, the dialog clumsy and sluggish and the characters poorly formed. Sometimes, even the best director and the best stars in a movie can’t fix an awful screenplay.

This is one of those times.
WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”j8lMbJTsUGU” width=”680″ height=”383″]

by-the-sea-poster

No comments

Movie Review: Self/Less – “Here’s A Great Premise. Now Watch Us Ruin It With Ryan Reynolds”

  By ,

IH7A3470.CR2

When I first saw the premise of Self/Less, I was like “this sounds really good.” Then, as I was watching it, I thought “wait a second, this seems familiar. Oh yeah, this movie was almost entirely copied from John Frankenheimer’s ‘Seconds.” If you’re familiar with the 1966 classic, then I have to say, Frankenheimer did it better. If not, you might find Self/Less intriguing.

Damian (Ben Kingsley) is greedy real estate agent whose money can’t stop the terminal cancer that’s ripping through his body. He’d not ready to die, so it’s a bit of good fortune when a stranger named Albright (Matthew Goode) introduces him to the idea of “shedding.” In this, Damian’s conscious can be zapped into the body of a younger, healthier host. He jumps on board and jumps into the body of a confused Ryan Reynolds.

The premise is good. The problem was the character development wasn’t. Damien was supposed to be this jerky, Trump-like real estate mogul who owns half of Manhattan due to backbiting and backstabbing. But suddenly, once dumped into Ryan Reynolds’ body, he becomes all compassionate and charming. He doesn’t feel like an old man put into a young body. It just feels like I’m watching two different people.

selfless03.0.0 - 24JUL2015

40d9e6a8_main.xxxlarge.0 - 24JUL2015

While character development isn’t always a make or break, in a movie like this, where the entire premise hinges on it, it has to be. You need to make me believe that the grumpy old man really is inside Ryan Reynolds. If not, the entire premise falls apart.

In the better done Seconds, they actually achieved this. In the remake, they failed because of one reason.

Ryan Reynolds can’t act.

I’m not saying he’s not fun to look at. I’m not even saying I find him unlikeable. But you have to admit that Ryan Reynolds always plays the same exact character. The charming boy next door with a bit of a naughty streak. To pull off a movie like Self/Less, a one note character just doesn’t work.

All the action in the movie is driven by Damian trying to uncover the truth about Shedding. The problem with that is why does Damian even care? He’s a rich man who got rich by stepping on people. He takes another body without a second thought as to where it came from. Then suddenly, he cares and has to expose the evil people (who saved him from cancer) for what they are?

I just didn’t buy it.

The premise was great and with better leads, and someone with a bit more range, they might have pulled it off. But Damian’s 180 attitude change flaws the entire logic of the movie and makes it too hard to believe to be watchable. There’s no character development or motivation. It’s mainly like ‘.”

So the original that they didn’t even bother to mention is Seconds and it’s absolutely worth the watch. But this one does no credence to the original and it proves that sometimes seconds aren’t as good the second time around.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”eisKxhjBnZ0″ width=”680″ height=”383″]

selfless_poster - 24JUL2015

2 Comments

Movie Review: Minions – A Bit Exhausting To Watch

  By , ,

minions-1

The Minions, those gibberish spewing sidekicks from Despicable Me, are back with their own feature movie. It’s a bit of an origin story, and a clear shameless attempt to cash in on the success of Despicable Me.

The movie starts out with an intro that covers just why the Minions are predestined to serve evil masters. Following all that, it jumps to 1968 where we meet the brave Minions living in New York City, but are sadly master-less. They then learn of a Villain-Con taking place in Orlando, and off they go, hoping to find a new big bad guy to follow. So of course, they get into tons of trouble, winding up riding along with bank robbers, and meeting a motivational speaker who is set on world domination. The movie jumps to different locales and has a lot going on, making it sometimes hard to follow for a children’s movie.

I think it needs to be said. There’s a reason the minions are pill shaped, and that’s because they should be taken in small doses. While their gibberish is cute for a few minutes, it only takes a while before it starts to grate on your nerves.

The best way to describe the movie is shrill, but cute. It’s at times fun, and mostly cute, but occasionally cloying. This is a kid’s movie for kids, not one for adults to enjoy with kids.

Minions-movie-3

Minions-movie-2

But then, with the rock and roll soundtrack, references to the Beatles, Japanese monster movies and the musical Hair, the jokes sometimes seem focused on adults. Maybe it was a way for adults to feel like they belonged in the audience, but I think the references were mainly just confusing to kids.

I can’t say it wasn’t cute. The movie was straight up adorable. The Minions are designed to be cute, so it’s hard not to enjoy their antics, but they were just too cute. It was too over the top and these little sidekicks are certainly not deep enough to have earned their own movie.

While I know sidekick spinoffs have worked in the past, with movies like Puss & Boots and the Penguins of Madagascar, those side characters actually had an interesting plot around them. Puss & Boots was a suave, debonair feline and the penguins were prison break artists. The most I can tell of the Minions is that they speak in gibberish and bumble around, knocking lots of stuff over and generally screwing up other people plans.

While it’s great for a side gag, it doesn’t work for an entire movie. It’s actually a bit exhausting to watch.

While your kids might make you suffer through this, I can’t say it’s one to watch for single adults. It’s a bit too cute, a bit too loud and a bit too bright for most people over 12 to walk away from without a massive migraine.

Sometimes, a sidekick is just a sidekick and it’s ok to leave them at that. For that reason, I got to say this is one to skip…unless your kids make you see it.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”eisKxhjBnZ0″ width=”680″ height=”383″]

minions_xxlg

2 Comments

Movie Review: Hot Pursuit – Witherspoon and Vergara Are Wasted Star Power On a Flat Script

  By , ,

hot pursuit scared face - 25MAY2015

When I saw the previews for Hot Pursuit, I was really hoping for a buddy comedy along the lines of 21 Jump Street. Instead, what I got was a humorous take on the Madonna and the Whore, and I have to say, I was not laughing. In fact, I might have flipped off the screen more than once. I was not surprised to see this script was written by two men. What did surprise me was that those men weren’t 13-year-old boys.

We meet the Madonna, i.e. Cooper (Reese Witherspoon). She’s an uptight, innocent cop whose been working in the evidence room ever since she tasered someone for no good reason. In order to break out of the evidence room, Cooper gladly takes an assignment escorting the Whore, i.e. Daniela Riva (Sofia Vergara) to Dallas. Riva is the widow of a high ranking drug kingpin. Of course, because they’re girls, there’s no way they can make a simple road trip without everything going wrong and the two are soon fugitives fleeing the law.

Then, they can only use their feminine wiles to stay one step ahead of the bad guys coming to get them. These wiles include lots of menstruation jokes, girls making out, cat fights and a few granny panty scenes. I have to say, I was a bit surprised that there were no pillow fights or mud wrestling.

The characters in this film are one note jokes and people laughed at them, not with them. Cooper is chatty, twangy and irritating in a way I haven’t seen since Raising Arizona, but not in a good way. Vergara is a sexpot with a suitcase full of expensive shoes and a stereotypical Columbian temper.

UTC_5-19-14_01583.CR2

UTC_6-5-14_03934.CR2

The thing is it’s not impossible to do a female-centric comedy without resorting to stupid, tired stereotypes. Movies like Bridesmaids and The Heat pulled it off, so why not this one? This feels like a comedy written about women, for men. You get to look at a couple of bumbling girls, who’d rather drag a suitcase of shoes with them than live, and you get to laugh at them as you mutter “it’s so true. Bitches be trippin.”

The thing is both Witherspoon and Vergara are excellent comedic actresses. They’re genuinely funny women but this script was something less. They did what they could with it, but the situations they were put in didn’t allow them to step out of the boxes they were placed in. As a result, the huge amount of money they probably paid those two actresses went to complete waste.

Women can be funny without being stereotypes. The writers of this script don’t seem to get that. While there were a few laughs, including the trunk full of cocaine and the deer carcass scene, most of them were just bad.

I wouldn’t waste my money in the theater on this one. Despite some strong star power, the script falls flat because it’s weighed down with stereotypes. While it might be good for a guilty chuckle from the privacy of your home, it’s not worth the watch in the theater.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”fUeOBdxSjc8″ width=”680″ height=”383″]

hot-pursuit-official movie poster - 25MAY2015

116 Comments

Movie Review: Little Boy – The Writers Seemed Afraid to Give The Movie Any Edge

  By , ,

littleboy-mv-10 - 06MAY2015

Little Boy is a limited released faith based film, set in World War II. It’s the war seen though the eyes of a 7-year-old. While the premise has promise, sticky sentimentality and on the nose messages about tolerance turned it into a failed effort.

We start out by meeting Pepper (Jakob Salvati), a wide-eyed 7-year-old boy desperate for his father (Michael Rapaport) to return home from the war in the Pacific. Pepper is the subject of bullying at school and despair at home. This all sets up a pretty bleak picture. Add in an older Japanese man named Hashimoto (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), who is treated with suspicion and is shunned by the residents of the small California town this is set in, and you have the perfect recipe for a movie with a message.

Unfortunately, problems abound. The movie seemed to be afraid to ‘go there’ with its overall theme. Instead, it sands away the rough edges in order to give a pat, simplistic view of fear during war time. As a result, it doesn’t come across as realistic. Everyone is one dimensional, from Emily Watson playing Pepper’s saintly mother, to Hashimoto playing the patient, benevolent old man.

Right now is a great time to tackle an issue like this. After all, the fear and racism most Japanese American’s dealt with during World War II is similar to the fear and racism Muslims in America are dealing with now. It’s a complex issue, which has many layers that need to be examined.

Little Boy - 06MAY2015

Little Boy pic (2) - 06MAY2015

This film takes that complex issue and turns in into a simple “everyone should be nice to everyone, all the time.” While a sticky sweet theory, it doesn’t work so well in practice. What about racial profiling? What about sleeper cells, extremism and Guantanamo Bay? After all, there were Guantanamo Bay’s all over America during World War II. They were called Japanese Internment camps. None of this is portrayed in the film. Instead, everyone is one dimensional. No one really has a good motivation. They’re either a tolerant saint or a one dimensional bigot.

The unfortunate part of this is that it could have had a strong story line. One strong part of this film is the Seven Corporal Works of Mercy. I remember those from being brought up Roman Catholic and know they can make a strong storyline in and of themselves. It’s too bad that the writers seemed afraid to give the movie any edge. It sees things in black and white. People are either good or bad. That doesn’t work when you’re tying in a religious lesson. Instead, it just comes off as an overly long Sunday school lesson.

Also, in a movie that seems kind of ‘holier than thou’ the fact that the townspeople rejoice at the bombing of Hiroshima doesn’t ring true as godly. While casualties are a part of war, I think the deaths of 166,000 civilians should be treated with a bit more sensitivity, rather than proof that god exists.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”b_BdzqsIX6A” width=”680″ height=”383″]

Little-Boy-movie-poster_1 - 06MAY2015

No comments

Movie Review: Unfinished Business (2015) – No wonder everyone in Europe hates us so much.

  By , ,

17MAR2015 - Unfinished Business Movie Still 13

Unfinished Business is something I classify as a ‘frat boy comedy”. That’s mainly because its target audience is a bunch of aging frat boys who love fart jokes. Don’t get me wrong. These movies can be very funny. Sometimes, they get it right, like in the Hangover. Sometimes, it goes really, really wrong…like in this movie.

Unfinished Business stars the well known aging frat boy, Vince Vaughn as Dan Trunkman. Dan is an honorable man with a loving wife and two really insecure kids. When he has to go on a business trip, he takes along two sidekicks, Timothy McWinters (Tim Wilkinson) and the dimwitted Mike Pancake (Dave Franco). They travel to Berlin, Germany, and some fish out of water wackiness ensures.

Let’s start by counting the clichés, to make sure they’re all there. Terrible driving on the Autobahn, confusion due to the language barriers, freaky sexual adventures, giant boobs and someone losing their virginity. Yeah, it’s all there.

No wonder everyone in Europe hates us so much.

Also, why does it always seem to be Oktoberfest when Americans set a movie in Germany?

Then, between all of these perverted shenanigans and complete misunderstanding of European culture, we are also treated to some over the top sloppy sentimentality about the importance of family connections. I mean Jeez, the last thing I want to think about, after I just saw a penis get shoved in someone’s face, is my family.

17MAR2015 - Unfinished Business Movie Still 1

17MAR2015 - Unfinished Business Movie Still 12

And side note? Everyone in Hollywood, stop with the glory hole jokes. We have all seen the trope.

“Oh, I’m an innocent person in a bathroom. What could possibly be in this hole? Let me put my eye right up to it. Oh my god, I just got poked in the eye by a penis!”

Look, Hollywood, I personally promise you, there is not one single person left in the world anywhere who does not know what a glory hole is. This incident will never, never, never happen. Can we please stop now?

Another thing I didn’t like is that Vaughn’s kid in the movie is overweight and the subject of bullying. This is portrayed in a feel bad for the chubby kid kind of way. But then, the movie has no problem making fun of Mike’s character because he’s stupid. Look, I have no problem laughing at a few fat jokes. I have no problem laughing at a few dumb jokes. But when you make it ok to laugh at one, and not the other, you’re just being a sanctimonious prick.

This is a movie written about Europe, that doesn’t feel like it was written by someone who’s ever been to Europe. It’s not Oktoberfest all year long. That only happens in October. The Autobahn is one of the best maintained roadways in the world, and if you can’t drive it, you shouldn’t drive at all. And anyone who doesn’t know what a glory hole is deserves to get poked in the eye by a penis.

Choose a genre and stick to it. If it’s a sloppy bro movie, don’t try and inject a bunch of heartfelt messages. If I wanted that, I’d go see a chick flick rather than an over aged, frat movie with 90% dick jokes.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

 

[youtube id=”0bM5vyZBQFA” width=”680″ height=”383″]

17MAR2015 - Unfinished Business Movie Poster

 

171 Comments

Movie Review: Strange Magic – A confusing score and an even more bewildering plot line.

  By , ,

STRANGE MAGIC

I’m really looking forward to the day when movies go back to being movies and stop being musicals. I’m not a very big music girl. In fact, despite the fact that I am a fan of Glee, I don’t watch it for the music. I actually fast forward through the music and watch it for the storyline.

Without the music, it’s approximately 7 minutes long.

So generally, I try to avoid movies that feature a lot of singing in them. Heck, I’m the one person left on the planet who hasn’t seen Frozen and never intends to see it. With how much I’ve been forced to listen to the song Let It Go, I already feel like I’ve caught all the high points anyway.

But I decided to give Strange Magic a shot. Not because it’s a musical, but because it’s by George Lucas. This is a mad cap fairytale that is loosely based on Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Nights Dream. This is a land divided. On one side, there is the beautiful fairy kingdom, ruled by a King (Alfred Molina) with two daughters. The oldest is Marianne (Evan Rachel Wood), who is still recovering from getting her heart broken by Roland (Sam Palladio), the man she was getting ready to marry. On the flipside, Dawn, the youngest daughter, played by Meredith Anne Bull, is the exact opposite and spends her time flirting with her best friend Sunny (Elijjah Kelley). The other side is made up of the Dark Forest, which is kind of what you’d expect a dark forest to be. The evil Bog King (Alan Cumming) has kidnapped the sugar plum fairy (Kristin Chenoweth), and now the fairies are fighting to get her back.

The movie is a bit convoluted and I had a bit of a hard time seeing any inspiration from A Midsummer’s Nights Dream, with the exception of a fairy who makes love potions. It was a bit confusing, which isn’t really good when your target audience is under 12.

I will say the movie had a few laugh out loud moments. While critics have been panning it widely, I won’t call it terrible. The scenery is beautiful, the animation excellent and the characters are intriguing. The problem comes for the labyrinthine story line and the music, which felt a bit too Moulin Rouge for a kids movie.

Strange-Magic (1)

strange-magic-trailer-1101191-TwoByOne

It’s a bizarre film but again, it’s not terrible. It’s just a bit drawn out. Dare I say it? I think this would have been way better without the music. When watching, you’ll repeatedly wonder why a specific song was chosen at a particular time. It’s like the person who chose the music hadn’t watched the movie.

A Midsummer’s Night Dream is already a convoluted story. Adding even more to it makes it far too messy. I mean, it’s Shakespeare. Why improve on Shakespeare? Just do the movie based on the original plot, without adding in a bunch of stuff or some important life lessons about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

A confusing score and an even more bewildering plot line don’t really make this movie the best it could be. I think the creators would have benefited from a ‘less is more’ stance on this one. If it had been simplified, I think the movie would have really shined. As it stands now, it’s a bit of a forgettable effort.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

 

[youtube id=”YSrJiaZnPuU” width=”680″ height=”383″]

strange_magic

No comments

Movie Review: The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death – A movie that feels like it should be scarey. It’s not.

  By , ,

Angel-of-Death-5

January is kind of the graveyard for new releases. For some reason or another, people don’t tend to head out to the movies a lot in January. Generally, I dread the movies that come out in January for one of two reasons. Either they’re terrible and the studio was trying to hide their release, or they’re wonderful but will never see the audience they deserve. When it comes to The Woman in Black 2, I have to say, the issue is decidedly the first one.

We start out the movie with a group of displaced orphans. The caretakers Eve (Phoebe Fox) and Jean (Helen McCrory) are forced to bring everyone to the desolate and eerie British countryside. Of course, it isn’t long before Eve starts to realize that the house is not as safe as it seems. With the help of a handsome pilot (Jeremy Irvine), Eve begins to investigate. Soon, she learns her reason for being at the house might not entirely be coincidental.

The entire movie drags. It drags in the beginning and it drags during the investigation. By the time the real scares show up, I was already yawning and barely paying attention.

I’m not sure why the phrase “Angel of Death” appears at all. Apparently, the woman in black is the Angel of Death? If so, maybe she should stop creeping around and actually kill some people. Just a thought. After all, the angel of death is kind of supposed to be all business. This lady is too busy stalking people to actually get anything done.

wom

Angel-of-Death-22

The movie is redundant, dour and drab. While it does have some genuine chills in the first half, it slows down and just delivers a horror atmosphere without actually being a horror. One thing I hate about horror movies is when they rely on jump scares. They’re the movie equivalent of the bad guy coming out and screaming ‘boo.’

To anyone who has ever had an older brother, you will know that only works for so long, until eventually you are completely numb to all surprises. There are other ways to scare people besides jump scares. Heck, the right sentence can give people more chills than a jump scare. In evidence of this, I submit the infamous line “the calls are coming from inside the house.”

They probably could have called this movie ‘generic horror movie’ and lost absolutely none of the effect. That’s what it was. From the creaky Victorian mansion, to the equally creepy little kid, the movie played out exactly as you suspected it would, with no surprises at all.

I will say it’s stylish and the atmosphere was well done. This was clearly an expensive movie to make. But I imagine it would have been a lot better if they’d actually thrown some genuine scares in there.

It’s a shame that the original is so much better than the sequel. The movie started off promising, but fell flat at the halfway mark. It’s a movie that feels like it should be scary, but isn’t.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”eYk0slXSY6s” width=”680″ height=”383″]

woman_in_black_angel_of_death_poster

No comments

Movie Review: Night at the Museum: Secrets of the Tomb – A Franchise that’s lost its magic.

  By ,

natm-gallery1

I think we all know that Night at the Museum movies are hardly high art. In fact, they’re about one step up from those straight to video movies the Olson twins made in the 90s. But the magic they do have is that they’re entertaining. So does Night at the Museum: Secrets of the Tomb hold up to the original?

This time around, Larry (Ben Stiller) learns that the magic Tablet of Akhmenrah, the Egyptian artifact that brings the Museum of Natural History’s various exhibits to life, is starting to lose its powers. That means that Larry will soon have to say goodbye to friends like Teddy Roosevelt (the late Robin Williams), Egyptian Pharaoh Akhmenrah (Rami Malek), miniature cowboy Jedediah (Owen Wilson) and his Roman general friend Octavius (Steve Coogan). So off Larry goes to a British museum, so he can find a replacement magic tablet.

So yeah, the entire plot was conceived with the purpose of sending the museum guard to yet another museum, so he could continue meeting various historical figures. The previous movies did well with this formula, so I guess there seems to be no reason to stop now.

54522c91e0f26

 

museum-action

Except, this results in a strange lack of energy, as if everyone is just sick of making these movies. Of course, I guess that’s what you get when you base an entire franchise of movies on a 32 page children’s book. You know what this movie is? It’s that movie you play over and over for your kids so you can get a break from them. It’s more background noise than anything else. It’s a PG non-interactive babysitter.

And an excuse to show off an array of CGI effects. Those are still as decent as the original. But that’s about all it has going for it. The first movie was supported by a cast of heavyweight comics. In this third installment, all the priors are tired and Robin Williams carries it all with his frantic energy.

Much like the tablet itself, this franchise has lost its magic. A phone in script and exhausted characters go on a short trip. In order to pad the script, two of the characters get stuck in a heating shaft and everyone has to go look for them for 45 minutes.

One bright shining spot in this is Rebel Wilson, who plays the British equivalent of Stiller’s character. As a guard at her own museum, she steals every single scene she’s in, making Stiller fall even more flat.

He clearly phoned in his effort and I think I know why. Rumor is, that when he was trying to get The Secret Life of Walter Mitty made, he actually had to sign on to do a third installment of this series. I guess when you shove someone back into a role, and hand him a tired script, you can’t really blame him for not putting forth much of an effort.

Hopefully, the studio will get the message and stop making these movies. But I highly doubt it. The movie has already raked in $17 million and is holding steady at number 2 at the box office. Despite the fact that it’s not worth the watch, it apparently was worth the making.

WE GAVE IT: 2.5 Stars

2.5 Stars

 

[youtube id=”KMKk7Dn__-Y” width=”680″ height=”383″]

night_at_the_museum_secret_of_the_tomb