We see you hiding your face. Don’t be ashamed! We all secretly have that one Disney Channel Original Movie we watch every time we are sick, or when we need a pick-me-up after a long day at walk or school. For me, it’s Alley Cats Strike, which had the wonderful Kaley Cuoco in it as Elisa Bowers. She just signed a $90 million TV contract, so there was some serious talent in that movie. Just saying.
But Alley Cats Strike didn’t make the list down below. The plot line just wasn’t crazy enough. Check out Disney’s 11 most ridiculous plot lines in the list down below. Did your favorite make it?
11. – The Luck of the Irish
Do you see that photo above? That should tell you everything you need to know. Number 11 in that photo may look like a regular teenager to you, but he’s actually a half-leprechaun freak. Yeah, I called him a freak! You know why? Because he’s not real! And I am extremely thankful for that, because if he was real, I would never leave
me my freaking house! Unless the house was being controlled by some strange computerized system that projects terrifying images of Katey Sagal, but we’ll get to that later.
So yeah, this dude is part leprechaun, and he finds out that his family’s lucky gold charm has been stolen by a group of naughty leprechauns. The brilliant film ends with a hilarious basketball game between the leprechauns. Can you guess who wins?
No. 10 – H-E Double Hockey Sticks
Why is Eric Matthews carrying the Devil’s pitchfork, and why is Jack Hunter smiling at the camera like he’s Wayne Gretzky? Was this some weird Boy Meets World spin-off? No. This wonderful creation was just another strange Disney Channel Movie. Will Friedle plays a devil-in-training sent to Earth to steal Matthew Lawrence’s soul. That’s pretty much all you need to know.
No. 9 – Pixel Perfect
This movie came out 10 years ago, and it still doesn’t make any sense. Some teenage geek borrows his father’s computerized holographic equipment to create a dancing hologram called Loretta to help out his best friend Samantha and her struggling band. The idea works initially, with everyone (except Sam) loving Loretta. But then things take a strange turn when Loretta escapes into the internet. Sam does her best to replace her on stage, but she ends up falling off the stage and slipping into a coma. Seriously.
And then a love triangle develops. The geek believes he is falling in love with Loretta, but then discovers he is really supposed to be with Samantha. It’s a better love story than The Notebook.
No. 8 – Halloweentown
Halloweentown might be one of Disney Channel’s most popular original films, but it’s also one of the strangest. The film follows Marnie around on her 13th Halloween, and she’s not going to spend this Halloween begging for candy at every house in the neighborhood. Instead, she discovers that she, her mother and her grandmother are witches. Marnie follows her grandma and lands a free ride on the magical bus to Halloweentown. A town filled with skeletons, goblins and a secret demon named Kalabar.
No. 7 – The Ultimate Christmas Present
I will admit, this is one of my favorite Disney Channel movies, mostly because I can relate to the main characters. How can I relate to a 13-year-old girl? Well, we both wanted snow for Christmas and we both knew it was probably never going to happen. I grew up in Texas, and the characters in this movie lived in Los Angeles. On their way home from school one day, the two girls find a weather machine outside a shack in the woods. After pressing a few buttons, they discover they can use this machine to control the weather.
Of course, they use the machine to make it snow in their hometown. When the snowstorm starts to get out of control, a creepy weatherman is able to track the source of storm back to the girls and their new machine, which actually belongs to Santa Claus.
No. 6 – Smart House
I promised we would talk more about this film featuring Katey Sagal as a computerized house/overbearing mother. The madness starts when 14-year-old Ben Cooper gets tired of taking care of everything around the house. Ever since his mother died, he’s been helping his father take care of his little sister and the house. He has no time to be a normal teenager, so he enters a competition to win a Smart House. He and his family win the house and things work out wonderfully at first.
But then Ben screws everything up again when he makes PAT (the computerized Smart House), more motherly in an attempt to show his father they don’t need some new woman replacing their deceased mother. This new programming makes PAT become the mother from hell. PAT becomes overprotective and locks the family inside the house for their own safety. It’s a truly terrifying film, especially the scene where a bunch of white kids dance to The House Is Jumpin’. The nightmares still keep me up at night.
No. 5 – Twitches
People must love bizarre movies because just like Halloweentown, Twitches was extremely successful for Disney Channel. Over 7 million viewers watched the premiere back in 2005, which was a record for the network at the time. The film stars Tia and Tamera Mowry as twins (shocker!) who were separated at birth. They meet for the first on their 21st birthday and discover that they have magical powers. After having fun with a few spells, they learn more about their past, finding out that an evil force named the Darkness is attacking their homeland.
No. 4 – Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off
In a world full of witches, smart houses, holograms, and magical weather machines. A boy chasing his dream of becoming a famous chef sounds refreshingly normal. However, when you really get down to the meat and potatoes of this film, you will see how silly it truly is. Eddie is the star of his high school baseball team, and his father is the coach of the team, he’s also a professional asshole. After signing up for home economics at his school, Eddie discovers his love for cooking is stronger than his love for baseball. But how is he going to convince his douchebag father that his dream of becoming the next Bobby Flay is worth it? Well, you will just have to watch the movie to find out.
No. 3 – Stepsister from Planet Weird
At least they warned you in the title with this movie. I remember watching this movie for the first time late at night several years ago. The next morning I honestly thought it was just some bizarre dream I had. I mean, using hairdryers to defeat the evil emperor? That’s just silly! But it actually happened in Stepsister from Planet Weird. I could type out this long summary for you, but I actually think this one line from IMDb says all you need to know…
“A teenager’s life is disrupted when her mother falls in love with an alien.”
No. 2 – Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
Zoom zoom zoom….seriously? You are going to make me sing it alone? Don’t act like you forgot the words. The lyrics to Supernova Girl
will forever be in our hearts. The film stars Kirsten Storms as Zenon Kar, and the always entertaining Raven Symoné as Nebula Wade. The two best friends are living the life in the year 2049 on an orbiting space station. After getting into some big trouble, Zenon’s parents punish her by sending her back down to Earth to live with her Aunt. While on Earth, Zenon learns about plans to destroy her true home back on the space station.
But since Zenon is known for making up stories, her parents don’t believe her when she tries to warn them, so she takes matters into her own hands by catching a ride back to the space station with her pop star idol Proto Zoa.
No. 1 – The Thirteenth Year
Going through puberty can be pretty scary, but 13-year-old Cody Griffin doesn’t want to hear you complaining about armpit hair. Why? Because this dude right here is growing fins! That’s right, soon after celebrating his 13th birthday, Cody discovers that he’s turning into a merman. He then finds his mermaid mother in the ocean and leaves his adoptive parents for the summer to help understand the changes happening to his body.