Movie Review: Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Transformers Age of Extinction - Movie PosterIt was a high budget art film; shot by George Bush

2.5 Stars

The fourth sequel of the blockbuster series “Transformers” came out last Friday and quickly shot to the top of the charts, garnering nearly $100 million in its opening weekend. So it just hype, or is Transformers: Age of Extinction really that good?

We start off where we usually start off in a Transformers movie. The town has gone to crap and an evil new villain is planning on changing the course of history. Then, a cast of humans, lead by the ever foxy Marc Walberg teams up with Optimus Prime and the Autobots rise to save the world, yet again.

And it still takes them one hundred and sixty six minutes. Seriously, 2 and a half friggen hours of the same damn thing yet again. Because that’s what it really was. It was the same exact thing as the last three Transformer movers. The only thing changing is the cast.

Also, question. Was Michael Bay trying to make an art film? If not, what was with all the sun set shots? Transformers 4 kind of felt like it was a high budget art film; shot by George Bush. Over the top patriotism and American flags abound, because let’s not forget that America is the center of the universe…even when half the flipping movie is set in China.

I didn’t understand that at all. What did China have to do with anything? I’m serious, someone please explain to me why they went to China, because I totally missed that plot point.

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I will say Mark Wahlberg was pretty great, but he’s always been great. I really haven’t seen that guy fail yet, even when he gets cast in a terrible movie. All the other players were entirely forgettable. I’m pretty sure they threw another hot girl in there, to play the spunky eye-candy heroine, but I really didn’t find her that memorable. She was no Megan Fox and I didn’t find her character that interesting. She did the whole ‘damsel in distress’ thing a few times and I really didn’t care if she made it or not.

Also, the Autobots, who were once buddy-buddy with the humans are now a threat and are being hunted by the government. Screw plot continuity, Michael Bay needs more conflict!

Of course, this did allow of the excellent addition of Kelsey Grammer as the CIA op in charge of hunting down the Autobots.

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As if this pile of garbage wasn’t going to make a ton of money anyway, the makers decided to cram in as much product placement as humanly possibly. Everything from Bud Lite to Ford F150s make an appearance.

The movie really should have been called Transformers 4: Brought to You by Red Bull. I understand a little bit of product placement, but the placement I saw in this movie was astonishingly bad and obvious.

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Apparently, Bay is threatening to produce two more of these atrocities. Yeah people, this is just the start of yet another trilogy. You know why he’s doing this, right? He needs to raise enough money to produce his own army of evil robots so he can take over the world.

Stop playing right into his hands!        Watch the Official Trailer Below:

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