Cabin Fever: Patient Zero is clearly a movie that its studio had little faith in. While it was released on August 1 in theaters, it’s going straight to video on September 1. My recommendations? Wait for the DVD to come out….and then throw that DVD away or use it as a coaster.
Cabin Fever: Patient Zero starts the same way that all Cabin Fever movies have. A group of friends go to a party in a secluded place. Then, everyone gets a flesh eating virus and we get to watch them all die in the most disgusting ways possible. I didn’t name any of the actors, because I’m pretty sure this is a movie they will be ashamed they made.
Lazy and uninspired. Those are the two words that come to mind when I think of this movie. Everything was lazy. The acting was lazy, the script was lazy, the direction was lazy and the effects were lazy. I felt like I was watching the film of a mediocre art school student who threw his homework together last minute.
It’s clear they’re going for cult status on this one, but I really don’t consider them worthy of cult status. How many times can we watch people die of flesh eating bacteria before it gets decidedly old hat?
The direction was bad. I don’t know if it was because the make-up was bad and they felt the needed to shoot everything in the dark, but even as gross out flicks go, it fails. I hear the make-up was good, but I couldn’t really tell, thanks to the dimness and the direction of the movie.
The acting was just horrible. I mean, really terrible. I’m going to say bad by B movie standards, and that is straight up bad. They might as well have done this thing with puppets.
The plot is ridiculous. Well, actually there are two ridiculous plots. One involves a man immune to the virus, being tortured by a doctor because that’s what you do when someone is immune to a deadly virus. Instead of testing their blood, you torture them endlessly to find out why. Why do lab work when you can just torture people?
The second plot involves a bachelor party so filled with idiots, you actually kind of hope something bad happens to them. Then, they finally get sick and you sit there thinking ‘die already’. But no…you need to sit through another 45 minutes to get that satisfaction.
It follows the standard formula. Lots of blisters, body parts falling off, evil doctors and patients running the asylum, followed by more gruesome deaths. It’s nothing new and it’s actually pretty boring for a movie that involves two rotting girls having a catfight.
I hear that during the making of this movie, the crew suffered through things like Hurricanes, food poisoning and venomous island creatures. It was so bad, when they returned, director Kaare Andrews loudly proclaimed “and we survived!”
My question? Why risk death for a movie this bad in the first place? This movie is not worth the watch. In fact, it kind of needs to be quarantined.
WE GAVE IT: 1 Stars: Official Movie Trailer and Movie Poster Below
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