Movie Review: The Fantastic Four (2015) – The Critics Were Right, It’s Terrible

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Great, another remake of the Fantastic Four. That’s never happened before, except in 1994, 2005, 2007 and just a guess, but there’s probably at least five other Fantastic Four adaptations underway. This one isn’t a stand out, unless you’re looking for something that’s stand out bad.

If that’s the case, this fits the bill.

This one, directed by John Trank, never really stood a chance. Many anonymous insiders have been trashing this movie since before it was released. Even Trank complained that he had a ‘fantastic’ version of the movie that was subsequently ruined but 20th Century Fox. Just about everyone involved seemed completely uncommitted to this project.

This review is going to be spoiler heavy, because it’s literally not worth watching the 80 minutes of tedious backstory, followed by the 20 minutes of equally tedious climax.

First off Miles Teller plays Mr. Fantastic. This 28-year-old actor seems a bit young for the role, so they fixed it by…making his character even younger? For some reason they portray Reed Richards as an 18-year-old self-taught world class genius who discovers the secret of inter dimensional travel during a school science fair.

Also with him is Ben Grimm (aka the Thing) who plays a boy bullied by his older brother. As if to shoehorn in his catch phrase, they make it so the older brother yells out “it’s clobbering time” just about every time he’s about to beat on his kid brother, which is kind of depressing

Ok, anyway back to the science fair. Of course wackiness ensures when they accidently break the gymnasium. Luckily, Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) and his adopted daughter, Sue (Kate Mara) just happen to show up to announce they are also attempting to master inter-dimensional travel. So Reed gets a full scholarship that conveniently places him closer to his love interest.

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There’s a bunch of other characters as well, including an entirely forgettable bad guy, but I really stopped paying attention about half way in. It just gets to be too much, like they really want to make sure they shove in as many back story moments as possible in order to cash in on the nostalgia. The problem is, this film is so far removed from the original that it bears little resemblance to any of the original characters.

The cast was utterly forgettable, the screenplay poorly written and ridiculous even by superhero movie standards and the entire thing dragged on so long that half the time I forgot what the point was by the time they reached it.

It just didn’t work. Making all the actors so seemingly young, while trying to shove in too many origin stories, made everything feel rushed and idiotic. I can kind of see why this movie was getting trashed even by the people that made it. The actors sleepwalked through their roles, in a script so filled with clichés and plot holes it could be used as a colander.

I can’t give it a worth the watch. In fact, I hope the Fantastic Four perfect their inter-dimensional technology so I can find a new place where this movie never existed.
We Gave it: 1 Star: Official Movie Trailer and Movie Poster Below

1 star

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Movie Review: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

DAWN-OF-THE-PLANET-OF-THE-APES-Movie-Poster-Version1This is not the Planet of the Apes of your childhood.

four and a half stars

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a huge fan of the Planet of the Apes movies. I just don’t get the premise. I mean, if the apes have evolved into talking and thinking, shouldn’t they have eventually just evolved into being humans? But I decided to set my skepticism aside and instead, focus on being entertained. After all, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is both a box office and critical success, so there has to be something there right?

Dawn picks up where the last movie left off, with Ceaser leading a growing band of genetically improved apes, to fight with the humans for supremacy of the planet. For the humans, a search for a cure for the virus has obliterated half the world. Humans are fighting to survive in primitive landscapes, while the apes struggle with things like class warfare and rebellious children.

This is not the Planet of the Apes of your childhood. In 1968, Charlton Hesston created the first version as a way to satire the problems in the world. For many, it became a cult hit simply for the ridiculous costumes, but people, aside from die hard movie buffs, rarely discussed the political implications of the movie.

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This new version is possibly the smartest version yet. The CGI is fantastic and realistic, and the apes now have a full range of facial expressions that make them more human and sympathetic. In fact, I wound up rooting for the apes for the majority of the movie.

The dialog is realistic and heavy, and the actors who gave voice to the characters do a great job of verbally expressing their emotions. They created a great humanity for the apes that made them more sympathetic than they’ve ever been before. This movie was very intelligently written.

My big gripe is that the movie has no release from the tension. It’s heavy, it’s depressing and it’s realistic, but there’s no humor to break it up. Instead, it’s a very grim look at the world and manages to be extremely depressing and hard hitting. I could have done with some kind of hope.

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Also, there was a major plot hole. There’s no indication that the apes have the knowledge to make weapons and after 10 years of warfare, they still seem to have an endless supply of both guns and bullets. Guns that never seem to jam, by the way. That didn’t really ring true. Jeez, on the Walking Dead after only a few months following the zombie apocalypse, they’re running low on guns and ammunition. How are the apes doing it after 10 years? Do they have a magic ammunition genie?

Plot holes and depression aside, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is intelligently written, acted and directed. The CGI is fantastic and realistic and the comparisons between the movie and our society are intelligent without being preachy. Currently performing at number 1 at the box office, this is a highly recommended watch. In fact, it might be the smartest movie you see all summer.

Watch the Trailer below!

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Scary Clip and last Trailer for ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes’

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If you saw 2011’s ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ then you know things get real very quickly with these apes. Below is the latest trailer and a super crazy clip from the film.
THE CLIP SET UP
In the clip Toby Kebbell is playing Koba, who was previously played by Christopher Gordon. Kebbell was tapped for the role in the new film because Kobas role will be much more in this film. In the clip you it looks like monkey business and then things get serious, FAST. All I can think watching it is….wait for it….wait for it…..

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The trailer is most likely the last one that will be released in anticipation for the July 11th release. The Matt Reeves directed sequel will indeed be one of the most anticipated movies of the summer.

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