Richard Armitage – Movie Smack Talk

As a massive nerd, I’ve been waiting for this movie to come out for years. I literally have been in line, dressed as a hobbit, since 2011. Ok, well that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I wanted to see if the final installment of the Hobbit trilogy was as good as the first.

In this final installment, we meet up with Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield and the Company of Dwarves shortly after they reclaimed their land from the Dragon Smaug. Of course, as it’s never a good idea to peeve off a fire breathing dragon, this has had some totally foreseen consequences. Smaug is taking his anger out on the innocent villagers of Laketown. On top of that, Thorin is going just a bit nutty and obsessed with his treasure, which drives a wedge between Bilbo and him. Toss in some Gandalf, a whole bunch of Orcs and Elves, and you get to end with a bang.

The movie was extremely well done and an excellent end to the series. They lost none of the power of the original. In fact, I think this might be the best installment yet. CGI, good makeup and fantastic settings created a mystical, beautiful world with heart pounding action and breathtaking scenery.

Martin Freeman plays Bilbo Baggins with the same humor and honor, creating a multifaceted conflicted character that we want to see win. His Everyman character is one that most people can relate to, even though they know hobbits don’t exist.

The battle scenes are impressive and well choreographed, and director Peter Jackson clearly found his forte in filming battles. The scenes are convincing without being overtly gory and the strategies involved are a bit more realistic than in the first two films.

What this movie could have used was a bit of comic relief. Compare the Hobbit to The Lord of the Rings, and you’ll always find the Hobbit lacking. That’s probably because in this installment, we don’t really get to know the characters as well. The scenes are a bit more battle heavy and there is less humor or emotional connection to the characters.

Not to say that it’s bad. In fact, it might be one of the best fantasies I’ve seen, aside from Lord of the Rings. I think that’s the problem with this franchise entirely. The Hobbit would have been groundbreaking if they hadn’t already raised the bar with The Lord of the Rings. It kind of makes me wonder what would have happened if they’d started with the Hobbit and done Lord of the Rings afterwards. Would the franchise have gotten the same momentum?

Of course, as with the Lord of the Rings, I did have some problems with the under-representation of female characters. Yes, I know Tolkien didn’t write it like that, but he also didn’t write much about the Battle of Five Armies in the books either, and they’ve turned that into the focal point of this entire movie. Would it have hurt to throw in a decent Liv Tyler elf or something like that?

Again, I have to say, this is worth the watch. Heck, I might even watch it twice. I’ve barely gotten any wear out of my hobbit costume.

WE GIVE IT: 4.5 STARS! Official Movie Trailer and Movie Poster Below.

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You ever wondered what would have happened if the movie Twister was filmed on iPhones and wasn’t… good? Wonder no more, but be warned, this movie is tornado porn.

Inside the Storm is set in a little hellhole called Silverton, where for 24 hours the town is attacked by tornados. While many seek shelter, a few of these brave (i.e. stupid) people choose to take the opportunity to film the storms. We follow professional storm chasers, amateur camera men and other people apparently born without the fear (or common sense) gene as they film this deadly storm. All of the characters introduced are pretty much meaningless because not only is there no one really famous, they are just a distraction from the real star of the film, the storms!

I’m going to start off this review with a plea. I’m not usually the begging type, but this has gone on long enough. Please, Hollywood, please, stop with the found footage filming. Yes, I know it’s cheap, but it’s about as easy as watching a movie set inside a blender. After a few seconds, I mainly just get dizzy.

Also, The Blair Witch Project (which started all this found footage mess) was stupid. Get over it.

This movie is guaranteed to be compared to Twister from 1996, when it would be better compared to Sharknado. The premise is about as likely. At one point, because the tornados aren’t enough, they introduce one that’s on fire; that’s when you abandon all morals and you just want this sucker to “Do Work”

I’m not saying this movie isn’t fun. There’s one particularly enjoyable ride through the tornado, and plenty of carnage, but it feels wrong to enjoy it. I mean, tornados kill people every year (including around 350 in 2011) and it seems sick to get some kind of vicarious thrill out of it. What next? Action porn about September 11th?

John Swetnam’s script is pretty basic, sort of like the plot to a porno movie. It’s there so you can still say it’s a movie but adds little to why you are in the theater. The ending wraps up in a neat little bow, all sitcom style, with everyone learning a valuable lesson…thanks to the tornados that decimated their home town and destroyed everything they owned.

Usually, the worst part of the tornado for a town is recovering from the aftermath. These people seem far too cheerful over the fact that their quaint little home town now looks like one of the rougher parts of Western Sudan.

Any attempts are heartfelt just get hokey. The dialog is poorly thought out and filled with holes. A teenage boy can read complicated weather equipment and determine “it’s getting worse’? It felt like someone gave an improv group a really big budget and said ‘go to town’.

So they made this.

As a tornado flick, it wasn’t sensitive enough to compare to Twister, nor hideously bad enough to be Sharknado. It’s simply a forgettable effort. If you can get over the guilt of cheering for national disasters that ruin the lives of millions, if you just want a brainless, sensational special effects bonanza then go for it. Otherwise my recommendation is to wait this storm out.

WE GAVE IT: 3 Stars – Watch the Official Trailer and Official Movie Poster below!