Watch The Newest (And Creepiest) Trailer For The Horror-Thriller ‘A Cure for Wellness’

Here is a film you might not have heard of yet. A Cure for Wellness is a psychological horror thriller directed by Gore Verbinski, and that name should get you excited. Gore is the man behind The Ring, Pirates Of The Caribbean, and The Weather Man.

And I know The Weather Man is an odd film to include in that list, but I loved the cheese out of the film, so all you haters can take yo’ noise and blast it somewhere else.

Dane DeHaan stars in this movie as an “ambitious young executive sent to an idyllic but mysterious ‘wellness center.'” During his time there, he’s tasked with trying to figure out what happened to his company’s CEO.

But that proves to be difficult, as Wiki explains:

“He soon suspects that the spa’s miraculous treatments are not what they seem. When he begins to unravel its terrifying secrets, his sanity is tested, as he finds himself diagnosed with the same curious illness that keeps all the guests there longing for the cure.”

Interested? Me too, and you’ll be even more interested after watching the trailer. In addition to DeHaan, the film also stars Mia Goth and Jason Isaacs.

It’s scheduled to hit theaters Feb. 17, 2017.

Movie Review: Nymphomaniac (2014)

hr_Nymphomaniac_20No Climax despite it being a movie about Climaxes

2 Stars

It feels odd to go from reviewing a children’s movie to a movie about a sex addict, but whatever. Variety is the spice of life.

Nymphomaniac is the story of Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg). Joe is a self-diagnosed nymphomaniac who has been seriously beaten and is found by older Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård). Think Black Snake Moan. That’s where the similarities end though. As Seiglemn tends to her wounds she tells the story of her erotic travels.

I’m going to be honest. This was a ‘did not finish’ for me, despite the fact that the movie was all about climaxes. I really felt like I was just watching depressing artistic pornography.  But it wasn’t just porn. It was overly smart self important porn. I know that I might be in the minority, but to me this was nothing more than a director making a movie called ‘this is a woman. Now watch how miserable she is because of sex.”

Joe is self destructive and damaged, but Seiglemn sees a hooker with a heart of gold. By the end, you get so sick of her self loathing and his mumblings about The Compleat Angler and the Fibonacci sequence that you won’t care anymore if people think you’re smart. You’ll just leave.

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The writing isn’t strong enough to overcome the overly explicit material. And it is overly explicit, even for a drama about a sex addict. I changed my mind. It doesn’t feel like porn. It feels like a snuff film.

I haven’t seen a snuff film this artsy since the Passion of the Christ.

The writing is juvenile and implausible. The first story in Joe’s stories of conquests is her and her friend on a train, having a contest as to who can hook up with the most men. Yes, I know that the world is crazy and stuff like that does happen, but the director makes it seem as though it is common place.

It seems that filmmaker Lars von Trier has a very bleak view of the world. In fact, I think he may be chronically depressed.

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The whole movie was bathed in grey and there was no spicing things up or making them more attractive. Everyone looks depressed and miserable most of the time. Even when they’re getting it on, most of them manage to look like they’re waiting for the bus on a rainy day.

The score feels pasted on and overly simplistic. “Born to be Wild” and “Burning down the House” are tossed in, while heavy metal music from Rammstein is inappropriately pasted over scenes in a way that is both distracting and irritating.

The movie is dirty, smug and self important. There are virtually no redeeming values to a weak script over actors with no charisma. The in your face symbolism does nothing to save the movie. When originally holding the press conference von Trier claimed he was making porn.

He was telling the truth in some ways. Watching this movie will make you feel dirty and ashamed of yourself. This sleazy drama is best skipped.

Here is the Official Movie Trailer….

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