Movie Review: Machete Kills (2013)

machete-kills-movie-posterMachete Kills… and Still Kicks Ass

3.5 stars

Machete Kills is the latest installment of the Machete franchise. It is currently getting ripped apart by critics and as usual, I couldn’t disagree more. Keep in mind that Machete Kills is an exploitation flick. Keep in mind that this is a sequel to a movie where a man repelled using someone’s large intestine and Lindsey Lohan mowed down people as a machine gun wielding nun.

Simply stated, if you don’t take it too seriously, Machete Kills is a lot of fun.

In this latest installment Machete (played by the ultra-scary Danny Trejo) is back for some more violent, over the top action. Machete is hired by President Charlie Sheen to stop Mendez (Demian Bichir) an evil crime lord from launching missiles at North America. Machete proceeds to shoot and swear his way through an Acapulco brothel, a tech guru’s lab (played by Mel Gibson) and a group of mercenaries (Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga) all playing one mercenary. [more…]

I’ve already heard complaints about bad dialog and I really think most critics missed the point. The dialog is supposed to be bad. It’s an exploitation flick. It’s campy fun. It’s not the King’s Speech for god’s sake. Some of my favorite gems from the movie include;

“Machete don’t Tweet.”
“You just saved the world’s ass.”
And my favorite, with the promise of the sequel Machete in Space…”See you in space, Mr. Machete”.

The violence is over the top, the action is over the top and the methods of murder are even more inventive. One guy gets eviscerated by a helicopter blade. People get shot by shotgun bra wearing hookers.



Machete Kills is just as fun as the original. Expect explosions, flying speedboats, Machete shaking off bullets and electrocution without a change of expression, Charlie Sheen smoking and sleeping with multiple women and more. No one is taking themselves too seriously in the movie.

Mel Gibson was a stand out star in this one, as the Bond-type crackpot named Voz, who wants to blow up the Earth. Sofia Vergara is a great foul mouthed Brothel Madame and Sheen does a great job of playing…himself if he was president.

Same goes for the effects. There are quite a few obvious green screen moments that make this even more fun. This is an exploitation flick that is fully self aware and done with a tongue in cheek intention much like the original.


Of course, the original was pretty hard to live up to as far as tongue in cheek goes, but Machete Kills does a pretty good job.

I think a lot of the critics that watched this movie and hated it might have missed the point. This is an exploitation flick that is an exploitation of exploitation flicks. This movie isn’t trying to send a deeper message. In fact, there only seems to be one message this movie is sending. That message is “see how much fun we’re having.”

Machete is a great choice for those looking for some action packed light cinema that doesn’t make them think too much.
Here’s the Trailer and if you’ve Seen the Movie – Leave a Review & Earn Some Points!

Machete Kills Releases New International Movie Posters and Stills

Machete Kills PostersMachete is back and this time he is bringing more guns, more boobs and more violence.  This is a B movie packed with A-list celebrities.  Danny Trejo returns as Machete Cortez and the accompanying cast is anything less than jaw dropping.
Cuba Gooding Jr., Mel Gibson, Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez are all joined with Charlie Sheen playing the President of the United States.
The only disappointing thing about this film is that it also casts Lady Gaga, but from the international movie poster, Robert Rodriguez even managers to make her “kick ass”.

Here are a few more stills and movie posters.  Machete Kills hits theaters on October 11th this year.





machete-kills-poster 2