Movie Review: Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice – After the Opening, it all Goes Downhill.

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God, the comic geeks must have spooged themselves when they learned that finally, all their ‘batman v superman’ arguments were coming to the movies. I never got that. To me Batman Versus Superman is the same as the ratio of ghosts to snork berries; nonexistent.  But, with the intent of becoming the wet dreams of 13-year-old boys everywhere, director Zack Snyder and screenwriter David S. Goyer put this together.

And now it’s time for a rant. How many times have I said “too many Superman movies”? How many times have I said “too many Batman movies?” So what do they do? Put them together. And, as if they’re making fun of me, they stick Ben Affleck in the lead.

That’s it. I quit. <typing stops abruptly, sound of footsteps, door slams>

Ok, not really. But that’s the kind of abrupt change of attitude you can expect from this newest DC adaptation. Dawn of Justice peaks in its opening sequence, a slow-motion, Sucker Punch-esque dispatching of the Batman origin story in three minutes or less, which sets the stage for the introduction of an older, broken, kinda fat Batman (Ben Affleck), who engages in increasingly violent and futile attempts to clean up Gotham City. The rest of the introductory character work sees Superman (Henry Cavill) grappling with public criticism over his actions in his last cinematic outing and the young Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) attempting to build a weapon capable of stopping Superman.

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After the opening, it all goes downhill. I have to admit; I didn’t hate Ben Affleck in this. He makes a passable Batman. Henry Cavill came across better as Clark Kent. Jesse Eisenberg was almost embarrassing as Lex Luthor. It felt like he was doing an impression of Heath Ledger playing the Joker. Watching Jesse Eisenberg, I wasn’t entirely sure if he’d ever heard of Superman.

Now me, I’m not a person who has a big problem with violence. Heck, I love everything by Quentin Tarantino and he’s turned violence into an art form. But this movie seemed to be rushed in order to get to the next violent fight scene. The characters become completely interchangeable and really, you stop caring about who wins. The problem is there really are no stakes. This is such an obvious cash grab; we know that they’d never kill off anything they can franchise. Hell, if a spork tested well with a focus group, they’d give it a franchise. And I’d watch the Adventures of Sporky just like everyone else.

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It’s not worth the watch, but it’s inevitable. It’s one of those bad blockbusters that everyone will go to, but eventually forget until the next one gets spit out by the studio.  They’re raking in garbage bags of money and we’re watching what they tell us to.

I’d say if it’s a choice between this and a Trump rally, I’d go with the Trump Rally. While the Trump Rally will be violent, at least Ben Affleck won’t be there.

WE GAVE IT: 2 Stars – Watch the Official Trailer and Official Movie Poster below!

2 Stars

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Movie Review: The Boy – An Elevated Horror Flick with a Chilling Premise and a Few Gimmicks

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The Boy is a big movie for Lauren Cohen, in that she’s trying to transition from TV to movies. In that, I think she made a good choice in going with this relatively sedate, more mature horror movie. While it’s a middle of the road effort, it was a good opportunity for Cohen to show her movie star skills.

Greta (Cohan) is a young American woman who takes a job as a nanny in a remote English village, only to discover that the family’s 8-year-old is a life-sized doll that the parents care for just like a real boy, as a way to cope with the death of their actual son 20 years prior. After violating a list of strict rules, a series of disturbing and inexplicable events bring Greta’s worst nightmares to reality.

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While it sounds silly, it’s actually a pretty chilling premise. To anyone old enough to remember when Norman Bate’s mother is revealed to be a corpse in a rocking chair, this movie has that kind of feel to it. Despite a premise that might sound silly, it’s actually quite sophisticated. This is no Chucky.

A lot of the credit is due to Cohen, who was poised to elevate this movie. She’s no scream queen, but instead reacts in a real, dimensional way as the tension builds. Her reactions are more realistic than most horror heroines and she stays composed throughout. She is the real stand out star in this.

The problem is with a movie that presents itself as sophisticated, I expect more psychological scares than I do jump scares. Jump scares are for kids watching Paranormal Activity 45…or whatever sequel they’re up to now. They don’t belong in a movie like this.

Cohen makes this movie far more credible and far more dramatic than it deserves to be. Without her, this would have been a silly, forgettable effort. With her, it’s elevated to a higher level. Despite the fact that she’s clearly used to excellent writing, she’s an actress who knows how to work with bad writing and I imagine that we’ll see a lot more of her in years to come…though I highly doubt The Boy will get a sequel.

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It’s a quiet movie, in that there are only a handful of speaking parts and for the most part, the movie is about Greta and the doll. During those times, Greta is the person who drives the tension. She’s the one that makes you build up for the big scare.

There are a few clichés to be seen in this one, like the chilling sound of children laughing, or a very unsettling mirror reflection, but they’re not terribly done, making older material seem a bit fresher.

All in all, it’s a middle of the road effort. If you’re dying for something scary, you could do worse than this. While it’s heavy on jump scares, it’s an elevated horror flick that might make you willing to overlook that tired gimmick. If that’s the case, this is worth the watch.

WE GAVE IT : 3 STARS! Watch the Official Trailer and See the Official Movie Poster below

stars

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