The ‘Fruit Ninja’ Game Is Going To Be A Movie Because The Universe Stopped Caring About Us

As you all should know by now, Hollywood doesn’t care about originality. They care about money, and that’s why we got the Angry Birds movie. It’s why we’re getting a movie about Troll dolls, and the reason we’re getting a movie all about emojis.

Now you can add ‘Fruit Ninja’ to the list. New Line Cinemas has acquired the rights to the insanely popular mobile game, which allows users to slice fruit in half with just the swipe of a finger.

The game was first released back in 2010 and has over 1 billion downloads. That’s the only reason it’s getting a movie. It’s certainly not because there is a wonderful story just waiting to be told. The game offers no plot.

By the way, the story they pieced together right now will “revolve around a team of misfits who are recruited to become Fruit Ninjas in order to save the world.”

Great. Makes sense. What are they saving the world from? Bitchy bananas? Wrathful watermelons? Bossy blueberries?

J.P. Lavin and Chad Damiani will be writing the live-action family comedy. No director has been attached to the project yet.

We’ll keep you posted as more information is released.