Movie Review: Project Almanac (2015) -You will be dumber for having watched it

Published On February 10, 2015 » 2122 Views» By admin »

Project Almanac Movie Review Scene 1

Project Almanac is a paradox in and of itself. It’s a time travel movie that has been time traveling around since 2014. Initially, the movie was called Welcome to Yesterday, marketed heavily under that title, then disappeared inexplicably, only to show up again in 2015 under the name Project Almanac.

In this one, a group of teenagers build a time machine out of what appears to be product placements. Then, these kids, who are smart enough to build a time machine, can’t seem to figure out that when you change stuff that happens in the past, it changes the future too. Because apparently, these kids have never seen a time travel movie.

First off, yes, I know that time travel is far fetched. I get that. But in a good time travel movie, even a humorous one, they at least attempt to make the science believable. They recognize paradoxes and they show why one simple thing changes everything. They don’t go “well, David is dating the head cheerleader, so we all have cancer now.”

Project Almanac Review Scene Still 2

Project Almanac Review Scene still 3

Look, I’m not looking for Stephen Hawking to show up and explain string theory. I’m just looking for an explanation, and not implausible plot twists in a science fiction movie. The science of this movie was about as believable as Sharknado. If you’re going to make something small change things, at least make it understandable as to why it would change things.

Of course, you have a bunch of 25 years olds playing teenagers, including the requisite girl who is just one of the guys, the nerd who doesn’t look like a nerd and his ‘just on the right side of nerdy’ friends. The cast isn’t memorable at all and the acting was a few steps above a high school play.

To make this movie even more irritating, it’s done in shaky, artless, useless, lazy found footage. You know what I’d do if I had a time machine? I’d travel to 1999, find the makers of The Blair Witch Project and convince those idiots of the irreversible damage they were doing to cinema in general with their dumb, dumb movie. Then, I would take all copies of the Blair Witch Project, I would put them in a submarine and I would sink them all the way to the bottom of the sea where they could never hurt anyone again.

Then maybe, just maybe, every idiot with an iPhone wouldn’t think they could be a director too.

This movie is like a really dumb person who tries to convince everyone they have a genius IQ. We all know one person like that. They walk around, narrowly avoiding drinking bleach and wandering into traffic, and then are like ‘yeah, but I took an IQ test online and it said I was a genius”.

This movie is that dumb person. And you will be dumber for having watched it. My suggestion is that the producers go back to 2014 and convince the makers to release this film where it really belonged…in the bottom of a garbage can.

We Gave it: 1 Star: Official Movie Trailer and Movie Poster Below

1 star

09FEB2015 - 9

 

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