Movie Review: The Legend of Hercules (2014)

Published On January 28, 2014 » 3779 Views» By admin »

hr_The_Legend_of_Hercules_11Dubbed Arnold was Better

1 star

Generally, whenever a new Hercules movie gets made (I estimate about 1 every 5 years), the screenwriter at least attempts to stick to the actual legend itself. Otherwise, what’s the point of calling the hero Hercules? They could have just as easily named the hero Tom or Mike and lost none of the story. This movie could have been called “The Legend of Boris” instead of just relying on the name Hercules to sell tickets.

In this version, the writer completely ignores the legend itself in order to create faster flowing conflict. Hercules (Kellan Lutz) comes about after his mother, a queen, gets seduced by Zeus. Needless to say, Hercules’ stepdad the king is none to pleased and sells Hercules into slavery. Then, Hercules must embark on an odyssey to overthrow the King and take back his rightful kingdom.

In this movie, the writer relies on the absolute and complete ignorance of the audience in order to get the story broiling. To give you an idea, the only fact that is actually correct in the above synopsis is Zeus. Everything else has absolutely no relation to the stories set in mythology.

If they had done that in order to make the legend clever and new again (like Gods Behaving Badly) then it would have been a great idea. Instead, they rewrote the legend of Hercules because apparently there wasn’t enough clichés. [more…]

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The screenplay feels like it was done with a pait by numbers cliché set. In it, you will see illegitimate children with disapproving fathers, sibling rivalry, stolen kingdoms, love triangles, slave trading, mud wrestling, public lashings and epic battles.

The acting is straight B- Movie grade, which is obvious in the beginning when a sex scene between the queen and an invisible God who moos like a cow will have you laughing yourself silly. Lutz spends most of the movie looking slightly baffled. When he doesn’t look baffled, he’s grunting as he lifts weights and flexing his swoon-worthy muscles. That’s Lutz’s range right there; “baffled” or “grunty”.

But the real prize for worst actor goes to the man playing King Amphitryon (direct-to-video action star Scott Adkins). This man deserves the Golden Raspberry for this awful performance. They even top it off with a horrible fake beard.

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Hercules 2

Even in the worst movies, bad writing and bad acting can often be saved by good special effects. This did not happen here. The producers took full advantage of computer generated special effects, but it feels like they used Photo Shop to do it. During an epic battle with the Nemean lion, Hercules actually looks like he is wrestling with a twisted beanie baby. The fake moon in the background for much of their journey is actually laugh-out-loud funny.

This is possibly one of the worst renditions of The Legend of Hercules I’ve ever seen, and that is really saying something because there have been some doozies. The sad part here was that the director didn’t seem to know how laughable this effort was. If you’re looking for a good Hercules movie, you’re probably best off waiting for July, when Dwayne Johnson will be making his own attempt at playing the legendary hero.

Watch the official Movie trailer below.

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