Movie Review: Entourage (2015) – Meandering, Plotless and Completely Pointless

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A long time ago, when I was doing some court ordered community service (don’t ask) I worked with a vet tech who did cat vaccinations for low income families just about all day long. She had a weird way of referring to every cat as a ‘pussycat’. I worked with her for 160 hours and I was pretty sure I’d never hear someone use the word ‘pussy’ so much again.

Then, I watched this pile of cash grabbing crap.

Entourage ended in 2011. Despite the guys behaving like a bunch of locker room douchebags, and the open misogyny, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it and I was perfectly satisfied with the ending. It was one of the few long running series that I felt did not need to be wrapped up with a movie. But apparently, HBO thought they could squeeze a bit more money out of it and went ahead with the movie anyway.

The original cast returns, led by Adrian Grenier as Vince Chase. Pretty much all the popular characters reprise their roles, regardless of where they left off at the end of the series. The plot moves forward by a common career shift in Hollywood. Pretty boy actor Vince is trying to direct his first motion picture, on a $100 million budget. Of course, he’s already late and over budget. Then, you have his buddies, bouncing around Hollywood and drooling over boobs. The biggest plotline any other character gets is Johnny Drama having a tape of him pleasuring himself go viral.

There’s a bunch of unnecessary celebrity cameos that were apparently crammed in for the purpose of making the movie more marketable. When the boys see Liam Neeson at a stoplight, one of them yells “Hey Schindler, save every Jew.”

Real current joke, guys. It took me like five minutes to get, and Schindler’s List is one of my favorite movies.

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This much hyped movie was kind of a waste. It was meandering, plotless and completely pointless. I felt like I was eavesdropping on a bunch of adolescent boys in a locker room. You know, the kind that brag about getting laid without ever actually getting laid.

It’s pretty much nothing but tits, locker room humor, and more tits. Vince charms, Ari yells, and Johnny Drama is always second best. This wasn’t so much a movie as it was an excuse to get people to open their wallets for a show that ended three years ago. I can’t blame HBO. I mean look how much they raked in from Sex in the City. The problem here was that Entourage was already wrapped up pretty nicely. We didn’t need to see more.

In fact, all I really want to do is forget I saw it at all.

Apparently, America feels the same way as me, because it flopped at the box office on opening weekend, raking in only about $10 million. That’s about $48 million less than the first Sex in the City movie made in 2008. Here’s hoping that disappointing result will keep them from making a sequel.

WE GAVE IT: 2 Stars – Watch the Official Trailer and Official Movie Poster below!

2 Stars

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