With the Valentine rush of romantic movies was one that got little metnion.Â Â Â This week IÂ watchedÂ the minimally advertised â€œWinterâ€™s Taleâ€.
Winterâ€™s Tale ties in so many different plot lines, it feels as though half a library was placed in a blender. Our main protagonist Peter Lake (Colin Farrell) is a modern day Moses who washed up on the shores of Ellis Island in a basket. Then, it flashes forward to him running from Pearly Soames (Russell Crow) and his gang of hooligans. But itâ€™s ok, because he is saved by a magic angel horse Athansor. Pearly is pissed, and his face morphs into a Demon shape when heâ€™s mad. He goes for a meet with the Devil (Will Smith) where they talk about some chick that is dying that Peter is in love with. On, and then for some reason we flash forward in time about 100 years. And then some other stuff happens as well.
You ever have a four year old child tell you a story? Most four years olds arenâ€™t great story tellers of course, so you generally wind up with a disjointed mess that doesnâ€™t go anywhere and gets more and more preposterous as it goes on.
Thatâ€™s what happened here. I spent the majority of the movie in the complete friggen dark as to what was going on. When I did understand it, it was either so ridiculous that I laughed out loud or it was just plain stupid.
I canâ€™t believe that Akiva Goldsman was responsible for this. I really canâ€™t. This is the screenplay writer who brought us â€œA Beautiful Mindâ€ and â€œThe Davinci Codeâ€. Winterâ€™s Tale, while clever, was never really a novel that was suited to the big screen.
And the dialog. Just as a sample â€œIf you donâ€™t make love to me now, no one ever will.â€ Honestly, if the heroine goes around saying that a lot, I can see why no one ever has. Itâ€™s kind of a downer.
The effects and direction were equally clumsy and lacked the pace needed to make a movie as convoluted as this one flow. There is a horse chase scene in the film that most directors would view with pure embarrassment as the cuts are so choppy and desperate, most would have scrapped the scene rather than show it.
The leads do nothing with the movie and itâ€™s clear that everyone, with the exception of Crowe, is there to collect a paycheck and move on. Crowe does a good job of making his character come alive, but the character itself is so over the top that it wouldnâ€™t be hard.
Itâ€™s a shame that this movie came out so poorly, because I am usually a huge fan of Goldsmanâ€™s work. However, this novel was difficult enough to adapt to the big screen, without getting lazy on effects and camera work as well. This was a disappointing effort and not a recommended watch to anyone who is a fan of Goldsmanâ€™s regular body of work.
You can watch the trailer below.[mashshare]