Movie Review: Black Hat (2015) – somebody give Hemsworth back his hammer

Published On January 26, 2015 » 1475 Views» By Jason Wals »

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The best way to describe Blackhat is to call it a movie about hackers, written by people who’ve never met any real hackers. I mean really, a buff Chris Hemsworth playing a dude who allegedly spends 15+ hours a day on a computer? I doubt Chris Hemsworth even knows how to turn his computer on in real life. Hackers get so good at computers because they spend so much time on computers and no time in the gym. You want to know what a real hacker looks like? Find the doughiest IT guy at your company, and add 50 pounds.

Sorry, rant over. Back to the movie.

Nicholas Hathaway (Chris Hemsworth) is behind bars because he’s a master computer criminal. Of course, he isn’t so good that he managed to avoid getting caught. Anyway, some cyber villain who is just as good as him (probably better, actually because he didn’t get caught) has hacked into the computer of a Chinese nuclear reactor. In order to stop a disaster, they toss in Chen Dawai (Leehom Wang), a computer expert who proposes reaching out to the Americans. Of course, he decides to go with Hathaway and the two set up the nerdiest buddy cop team ever.

The unfortunate part of this movie is the fact that the writers clearly didn’t know how to make computer crimes interesting, so they had to turn Hemsworth into some buff action figure who’s throwing punches and breaking jaws every few minutes. That’s a shame, because the hacking in and of itself could have been interesting. To prove that, I bring up the much better 90s cult hit “Hackers”.

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That was a hacker movie that actually features hacking and people who looked like they could be hackers. In this one, I kept on waiting for Hemsworth to yank out his magic hammer and give them all the Thor smackdown.

The dialog and acting was wooden, which is a shame because Hemsworth already proved he could act in Rush. I think he might have started phoning it once he realized this movie was being released in January. i.e. the new release graveyard.

The plotline is murky and filled with holes. I mean, these people are looking for a hacker so good they can’t catch him. So they go with a hacker they already caught to help? Also, I highly doubt China needs our help with anything. They’ve been kicking our butts in technology for the last 2 decades. I highly doubt the first people they turn to are the American’s when they have problems.

The lady characters were there to be nothing more than T&A. Honestly, Dawai’s sister shows up on the scene, allegedly because she’s a master hacker too, but spends most of her time batting her eyelashes at Thor…I mean Nicholas.

If you’re going to make a movie about computers, actually consult with some people who know things about computers. Maybe hire someone who actually has a background in hacking. Otherwise, expect an audience full of snickering IT guys.

Blackhat had potential, but instead of making it an intellectual action, they just went straight action and ruined the effect. For god’s sake, somebody give Hemsworth back his hammer before he ruins any more movies.

WE GAVE IT: 2 Stars – Watch the Official Trailer and Official Movie Poster below!

2 Stars

 

 

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